I am a mom now, dear friend. And I am lobbying for your heart.

I welcome guest bloggers here at yasminareality.com. I am honored to have a dear friend, a Muslim sister named Rula whose thoughts are shared here this month.  Rula is a mother of 2 small children. A wife, madly in love with her husband. And also a woman who has not only moved a far distance from her friends – finds herself in a different place in life than some of them.  Rula is the consummate heart. She speaks from her heart and feels deeply.  Thank you, Rula, for sharing your sentiments on the struggles of maintaining friendship when our entire days, weeks and months consist of us wearing the hat of “Mom.”

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I am not kind. I am not a super hero or a true saint. I am, however, always there for you- day or night. I strive for your happiness as if it were my own. You may be silly enough to think that I have all the time in the world to center my world around you- but all I have is the few lousy moments I get to escape my family while shouting, “I am coming!” or “hold on!” or “just five more minutes” when I barely left the room for a few seconds.

I have no time. You are busy. I am busier. You have exams and studying- and I have a family I need to keep afloat. So why do I do it? Why am I so selfless? Why do I continue to look at your problems as they are my own?

Well- the kind, generous, caring, selfless women you know has ulterior motives. Yup, I am not just a saint or a phenomenal person. I am lobbying for your heart, for your gratitude. Of all the diapers and the kicking, and screaming I have to deal with as a mom, my children run to their father. Of all the sleepless nights I lie awake aching just out of desperation, I find that they prefer my husband whom I truly love- but he is definitely not their mother. There is one mother’s day and one father’s day- but believe me, being a mother of two- I cannot clock out for the day, I can’t leave my kids for an evening. I cannot in good conscience leave my kids at a sitter. That is right. I have never left my kids at a sitter. My mom had to beg me to agree to put my newborn at a sitter then go to my own brother’s wedding. That was the only time I gave in. My husband, however, has his own life outside the home. He has his work, meets up with his buddies every week for hours, and our family friends are accommodated.

Where does that leave me? What happens to me? I lobby. I serve my friends in ways that they wouldn’t even serve themselves in hopes that maybe one day they will call me first. In hopes that one day, they will just tell me how much they appreciate me. It almost sounds funny to think because of how unpractical that sounds. “Thank you” ha! My friends want a sentence. I give them a paragraph. My friends want to sigh. I write texts in paragraphs to give them hope, and a peace of mind. My friends want to get married. I find them a man like a bounty hunter capturing a fugitive. My friends want a connection. I become the connection.

I get excited when my friends call me. I speak on the phone with so much happiness even though I am almost certain they need something, but that’s okay. Someone needs me! The phone hangs up on the other end; and, I know that person will never call back until the next crisis. You know who else knows how to juggle numerous balls at the same time? A clown. They are always invited to kid’s parties. But they are getting paid to do so; and, they are making a fool out of themselves in their ridiculous costumes. Unfortunately, me and this clown are one in the same. So yes, I am lobbying for your heart. I do everything I do, and I want something in exchange!

You!

I want your friendship and loyalty. I want you to appreciate me.

About the Author

About the Author: I'm a Writer, Speaker and Muslim Activist. I'm a former Board Member of the #MyJihad Public Education Campaign. Follow my blog at yasminareality.com or follow me on Twitter: @yasmina_reality. I'm also now on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YasminaReality Peace! More from this author.

Tagged With: friendship, heart, motherhood